El Roi - The God Who Sees!

God Sees Me 

“She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Genesis 16:13

Being seen is something that we all want. In fact, I’d say being seen is one of the most comforting feelings on earth. I’m sure you’ve heard, “To be seen is to be loved.”  Have you ever felt that kind of “seen”? What makes you feel seen?  I remember at the beginning of my journey with infertility, I told myself over and over that I didn’t want to be seen. In fact, I wanted no one to know anything was wrong with me at all. I kept a face on for everyone, but inside I was dying. I say I didn’t want to be seen, but actually, I was desperate for someone to see me. Already a year's worth of doctors poking me, prodding me, drawing blood, running tests and MRIs. A year filled with mystery as I had not been able to get pregnant. “There isn’t anything wrong with you, your tests came back normal and you are very healthy.” Where was my God in this? Where was the Almighty God whom I have followed and known my entire life?! I am suffering, I am grieving, I’m angry and I’m bitter. Suddenly it was like He had taken His eyes off of me for the first time in my life. Where is God to fight for me and why doesn’t He seem to see how much pain I’m in. Have you ever been there? How do you explain those types of feelings to someone who has never experienced infertility? As many of you may know, it’s nearly impossible for anyone else to understand and to SEE what you’re going through. Even through infertility, there are many different types of journeys. So, all that being said, where do I go from here? I am angry, grieving, and honestly, this is just straight up unfair. Well, there’s an awesome quote I’ve been reading for weeks now. Charles F. Stanley once said, “It is not the trials in your life that develop or destroy you, but rather your response to those hardships.” How are you responding to your season of hardship? Are you letting it control you? Think of your day to day. What are you thinking of most? When I look back at the first 4 years of my infertility journey, I noticed a trend. Every single thought in my head, every word that came from my mouth when I spoke of this difficult journey was all centered around me and what I wasn’t getting. This is what I was owed after a lifetime of serving Him and doing the right things, and the fact that God just didn’t seem to see that I deserve this. Is that you? If it is, my friend, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Let’s start something new today, right now! Let today be the day that you start praying for God to change your heart. How can God use this trial as a gateway for you to share Him with others who do not know the depth of His unfailing faithfulness and love? Instead of focusing on yourself, let’s start turning our eyes towards Him. 

Prayer: 

Father, I pray for the person reading this right now. Lord, you SEE their pain and grief. You know exactly what it is like to deal with the loss of a child. Father, you sacrificed your one and only Son for us. I pray that we remember, every day, that you are not a distant and far-off God, but an Almighty and present Father. You see us, you know us, and I pray that this trial and testing of our faith produces fruit for your Kingdom like no other time in our life has! 

In Jesus’ mighty name, 

Amen.